I’ll admit that the past few weeks have put me in a dark and twisty spiral at times. I know, I know, it’s just a number, but I want to see a lower damn number if I’m going to walk around feeling hungry and weighing/tracking every damn thing I eat.
I didn’t check in last week because, well, I was feeling discouraged at the end of week 7. The stats:
Weight: 204.6 (-1 pound since the previous week, -18.4 pounds since I began this post-pregnancy weight loss journey 7 weeks ago, and -125.4 pounds since pre-surgery)
Week 8: 203.4 (-1.2 pounds since the previous week, -19.6 pounds in the last 8 weeks, and -126.6 pounds since pre-surgery).
I haven’t been able to go to the gym in a couple of weeks because of kids, and that is definitely weighing on me (pun intended), body, mind, and soul. I miss the gym.
I talked to my husband about it, again, and he’s not a morning guy, but he’s going to try to get to work earlier so maybe I can get to the gym in the evenings. Again, I’m not a night owl, so night workouts aren’t ideal, but it’s better than nothing. The baby doesn’t sleep through the night, and she often wakes up when I try to sneak out of bed at 5am, so I have to adapt somehow.
I tried on my previously ordained “fat pants,” and the good news is that the size 16s are literally falling off me (remember when my 26/28s used to be tight before the WLS?). For the time being, I’m just cinching them in with a piece of yarn (classy, right?) (NB: I don’t mean to imply that a size 16 is fat, just that we all have that pair of pants that we never want to fit in again, but that we keep around, just in case we have an “I feel fat” emergency.)
I still have a long long way to go to get back to where I want to be. I’m feeling discouraged because I’m at a bit of a plateau (too soon for a plateau, yo!!!), I failed to meet my goal of being under 200 by the end of April, and I’m not exercising.
BUT, it’s the first of May. Time for a new goal. And that goal is ambitious, but attainable. 190 by the end of May. That’s 13.4 pounds this month. I got this. I think I got this. Yep, yep, I’m pretty sure I got this, as long as I get back to the gym. I’m certain it’s no coincidence that I hit a plateau about 2 weeks ago, just when I stopped going to the gym every day. And my goal is still 5 days a week.
I enrolled my kids in a running series (I’m hoping my son can participate in it too – long story, different blog post for that mess), and I want to start running again. I miss it. I also still need a jogging stroller (a very kind friend offered to loan me hers until I find one of my own!)
I also went and invested in some proper running compression capris. I chose just a few inexpensive Avia pair to get me started, but I was both pleased to have to buy a large (no X in front of it, yay!) and displeased that it’s still larger than I’d like to be buying (I was once buying smalls and mediums). I forgot how weird the compression pants feel. They’re no Lularoe, y’all. And I’m rather body-conscious, no matter my size, and these mesh insets make me a bit squeamish. I feel very exposed in these. It also always kills me when I buy capris and they’re basically pants on my short legs.
But it’s a journey, right? True, though the journey would be a lot more satisfying if the sights changed once in a while. I’m just saying.