Getting antsy and frustrated

on

It’s a rough day.   I’ll admit it.   I’m struggling. 
For the second day in a row,  I’ve been unable to go to the gym.  This morning,  the baby was awake and wanting to nurse at 5:45, the time when I’m usually sneaking out the door for my daily gym time.  

I was talking to a friend about this the other day.   You see,  I’m a gym rat.   I’d rather run at the gym like a hamster on a wheel than run outside.   I don’t know why that is,  but I’ve accepted it as a personal truth.   It is what it is.   But on days like today,  when I can’t get to the gym,  I wish I had a baby jogger/jogging stroller so I could get some exercise while the twins are at preschool.   

Because I’m not a nice person when I’m sedentary.   I feel trapped by stay-at-home-motherhood when I don’t get exercise. I realize that might make me a horrible person or a bad mother,  but I’m a person too, and I need to take care of me in order to take care of others.   This is a very new realization for me. VERY new.

Without exercise,  I am snarky  (okay, okay, snarkier than usual,  smart asses), snippy, short-tempered, grumpy, impatient, and generally argumentative when I haven’t worked off some excess energy. 

So today, I’m trying desperately to channel some Zen-like patience with my little people and be courteous to rude people. (I posted an iso for a clean jogger on a Facebook sale site, and politely declined someone who posted a filthy,  faded piece of junk in response to my ad. She channeled her inner ugly-and-rude-as-hell snark, and now I’m fuming, trying to let it go because she clearly just wasn’t raised to be polite.)

But damn.  Serenity.  Right Fracking Now, if you please. 

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